Blackmail
by secret2013
Summary: Grissom,Sara and a mysterious video. GSR with some angst and drama
1. Chapter 1

This is the english version of my fanfiction called "Erpressung". I would like to thank Dany for the translation. So, thank you very much. 

Please tell me what I can do better. And if you like the story-idea - a review would be great.

Thanks!

**Blackmail**

**1**

Like always in the last few weeks, Sara passed Grissom's office on her way home. She wanted to say goodbye and maybe talk a little bit with him.

Most of the time, Grissom was still tackling paper work, but sometimes he was already waiting and invited her for breakfast.

His door was open like most of the time, but today Sara's smile remained unnoticed.

Grissom was sitting at his desk, staring at the computer screen but not moving a muscle, and it seemed that he had blended his surroundings out completely. A big padded envelope lay in front of him and next to it an empty DVD-case.

He had probably watched the DVD on his computer and what he had seen there must have shocked him.

"Hey Grissom, are you okay? You look pale."

Sara's statement was putting it mildly, but she didn't know how she else to describe the picture Grissom presented at that moment. However, Grissom kept ignoring her.

"Gris?"

Finally, he looked up.

"Oh. Hi, Sara !"

If she didn't know better, Sara would have thought that Grissom blushed. Blushing – because of her? She must have been mistaken.

"I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Good. See you later. Have a nice day."

"Would you like to have breakfast?" she asked although he had just tried to end the conversation.

"You look terrible. Maybe some coffee would help you freshen up."

Grissom shook his head vehemently. The last thing he needed at the moment was a friendly and caring Sara. Not after the video that he had just seen.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood," he retorted, fully intending to put her off.

Sara hadn't seen this Grissom in a while; the one that seemingly rejected her without a thought. She tried not to let it get to her. He probably didn't mean it that way.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight."

Without waiting for his reply, she turned and left.

**2**

Grissom wouldn't and couldn't look at Sara. Even without making eye contact, he knew that she was probably hurt and shocked by his behavior. The last few weeks, everything had been going so well. Maybe too well, as he realized now. He had hoped that maybe they could soon be more than friends. Grissom had gotten the impression that everything was pointing in the direction of an intimate relationship.

Up until this morning. Until the moment he had seen the video. At that moment, he had realized that everything had been a dream, an illusion.

The video – where did it come from? Who had sent it?

Although there was no note, Grissom knew that there could be only one intend: blackmail.

The shock of seeing the video ran deep. He had thought that he had left the past behind. But that had been a big mistake.

You couldn't forget or undo anything. The video was proof of that.

Carefully, he took the DVD from his laptop and put it in his bag.

Nothing would be worse than a public viewing.

At home he would have more patience and would remain undisturbed. Maybe he could find a solution.

**3**

Sara tried everything to fall asleep after her talk with Grissom, but nothing helped.

Her thoughts kept circling around Grissom. Whatever he had seen must have been horrible, but what was it?

If it had been something illegal, he would have informed the team. It could, no it had to be something different.

Maybe something personal?

What should she do? To get involved against Grissom's will?

Sighing, she grabbed her phone and dialed the number of the CSI headquarters.

"Hello, this is Sara Sidle. Oh Judy, it's you. I hoped you might be able to help me. Not long ago there was a package for Grissom – you remember? Yes, really? Can I come and get it? It's important and I think that Grissom…Great Judy. See you soon."

**4**

There was another letter for Grissom. This a time a normal-sized one, postmarked in Las Vegas but without a sender's address.

What should she do? Just open the letter and lose Grissom's trust?

Or should she go to him and confront him with the letter?

Was their relationship strong enough for her to do something like that?

In the end, it probably didn't matter.

She was already involved because she had intercepted the letter. Grissom had every right to be mad. Maybe it would be best to get over with it right away.

Sara's courage seemed to take flight as she got closer to Grissom's home.

Maybe he was still sleeping, she tried to tell herself but discarded that thought again. If she couldn't sleep, how was he supposed to?

Sara knocked, but nothing moved inside. No sound was heard from the inside. She was just about to turn and leave when the door opened suddenly and Grissom was standing in front of her.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, so much readers and reviews. Its good to see that you like my story. Maybe this chapter has too much dialogues. I'm sorry about this but I couldn't do it better.

And again thank you Dany, I could never translate this so good and fast. Thanks !

**5**

Grissom didn't look much different than hours before. Just like she had thought, there had been no thinking about sleep for him either..

"Sara, what are you doing here?" Grissom asked tiredly.

He hadn't counted on her showing up at all. He had spent the last hours thinking about his situation.

He had not watched the video a second time. He knew what it showed, but the CSI in him argued that maybe there was something he had overlooked, but still, he could not bring himself to go through that again.

Having Sara show up on his doorstep was not a good sign. She was suspicious and he had to be especially careful now. If she found out the truth, everything would be over. She would feel nothing but contempt and turn away from him – and nothing would be worse.

"Sara, what do you want?"

"I have a letter for you," Sara spoke slowly, wanting to see his reaction.

"What letter? Sara, I can't to this today."

Sara swallowed hard. The tension was wearing her down.

"Tell me what was going on. Grissom, please. Something's wrong."

"I don't want to talk about it. It's none of your business. Give me the letter."

Without another word, Sara handed him the envelope.

A knot formed in Grissom's stomach when he saw it. It appeared be another note from the anonymous sender.

"Where did you get that? It's addressed to me."

He stared at her. The letter was almost forgotten, because now he had to do some damage control.

"What did you do? Answer me."

Rarely had Sara seen Grissom like that, so cold and his voice impersonal.

"Judy gave it to me and I thought that it was important. Don't you want to open it?"

"No."

"Grissom, please. What's wrong? Can I help?

"Sara, leave it alone."

"Do you remember when I told you that. You didn't leave it alone and I can't do that either. Please, tell me."

She moved closer, took his face into her hands and looked at him seriously.

Grissom closed his eyes. Her touch was so soft and soothing.

If only the situation would be different. No matter what else was going on around him, he couldn't resist leaning into her hands and then he opened his eyes again.

Sara almost drowned in these blue eyes.

She leaned forward and kissed him softly. A moment passed and she pulled Grissom against her.

Passionately, he returned the kiss, deepened it and it seemed as if he put his whole soul in it.

Grissom's only thought was 'This is what it feels like to kiss her. But if she gets to know the truth, this will be our first and last kiss.'

Sara's thoughts were not as clear. She was overwhelmed by his passion and she wanted more. More of him, more of everything.

Suddenly, she felt Grissom pulling away. He took a deep breath and spoke. "No Sara."

"But Griss…"

"No, it's just pity. That is no reason."

"You and me, that's no pity, the connection between us. You should know that by now."

He looked at Sara, turned away and moved to his desk. Why couldn't she leave it alone?

"You don't know what you're talking about. Why are you here? Out of curiosity? You want to know what's wrong? I don't know."

Sara remained silent.

"Fine, I'll open the letter. Satisfied?"

Carefully, he took the letter opener and tried to get to the content without doing much damage.

Sara watched as a piece of paper and a photo fluttered out.

Grissom put his glasses on and started reading out loud: "Remember? We do. If we're supposed to forget, you have to meet our demands. We will get back to you."

He took the photo into his hand carefully. It was an outdoor shot of an old house.

In a window, there was a scarcely clothed man – Grissom

**6**

Silently, he passed the photo on to Sara.

She tried to analyze it without emotions.

Grissom was being blackmailed, that much was clear.

However, the blackmailer hadn't made any demands so far.

What was that photo about? Sara looked at it closely and the house seemed to be familiar.

He held out his hand and Sara handed the photo back over.

"It's Lady Heather's house," he told her without averting his gaze.

"Oh."

Grissom had to swallow hard.

"I didn't want you to find out like this. If you want to go now, I can understand."

Sara remained silent. This was what he had feared. He couldn't take her contempt.

Sara shook her head.

"I told you that I want to help. I meant that. Is the photo real?

Grissom nodded.

"I understand that this is not exactly easy in your position, but you're not married…"

He looked at her with surprise. How could she remain so calm? He would never be as understanding if their roles were reversed.

Why was she?

"Sara, why don't you blame me for what I've done? You should."

She blinked. It was taking her last shred of self-control to remain calm.

"I try to be realistic. And what's that supposed to mean – I should. You don't owe me an explanation."

She turned away from Grissom because she didn't want him to see how close to tears she was.

"What's on that video?" she finally asked.

**7**

That was the question Grissom had been so afraid off.

Before he could even answer, Sara spoke. "I don't want to see the video if you don't want me to. I can understand that. But maybe you want to just tell me what's on it.

"It's hard to talk about the thing with Heather," Grissom started, but he was immediately cut off by her again.

"You don't have to talk about her. Maybe later, when this is over and if you still want to."

Grissom nodded. That would be the best.

"The video isn't long. Basically you just see me walking into her establishment and walk out the next morning. In between, there are a few zooms on a window and you can see some shadows, among other things. The picture here is a still from the video."

They stood facing each other silently. Grissom had admitted a few details and Sara just kept looking at him.

"So you had an affair. Big deal. You're not married, no politician, not rich. So, what would be the motive in trying to blackmail you? It has to be about an old case. Someone wants you to hold back or alter some evidence. Can you think of someone who would do that, Grissom?"

He pointed to his desk.

"All morning, I went through old cases and those that still have to be tried. Nothing. Maybe it would go a lot faster if we both looked through them."

"Great, let's go to work."

"Thanks Sara. You don't know how much it means to me that you want to help me ant that you haven't left me."

This time he stepped closer and took her hand. His eyes asked her if he was still allowed to do that.

"Grissom, we all have a past. And we have all done things that we're not proud of. Why should I leave you because of that. You were the reason I moved to Las Vegas, the reason I stayed. Blackmail will change nothing about that."

She kept holding his hand.

"Come on, let's start. Maybe you should ask the rest of the team to help as well."

Although she already knew his answer, she had to ask.

"No. It's enough that you had to get involved. Please, let's just keep this between us.

TBC

Don't worry about the WIP. I already wrote 15 chapter. Still, if you see problems or can give me some advise – send me a mail.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok, a small Lady Heather warning. But of course this is all about Sara and Grissom.

Again thanks for reading the story and Dany for the translation.

**8**

A few hours later, they had gone through every case that he had the files on.

A few of them might have fit the profile, but they both couldn't imagine that that one of the suspect of these cases actually had what it takes to pull such a blackmail off.

They looked at each other and decided to take a break to get some more coffee.

Grissom stood up and went to the kitchen, while Sara moved to the living room and got comfortable.

She took a magazine to distract herself, but after a few seconds, her eyes wouldn't stay open anymore and she fell asleep. And this was how Grissom found her.

Watching her sleep made him feel guilty again. Sure, he didn't _have_ to explain anything to her, but ever since he met her, there had been this bond between them. A connection that they both didn't want to, and couldn't, break.

That's where these feelings of guilt came from. He had betrayed her, physically.

He took his cup of coffee and went back to his study.

When he settled behind his desk, he took the DVD back into his hand, not sure if he should do this. In the end, he had no choice. He would have to watch it again.

Sighing, he put the disc in the computer drive and clicked 'play.'

Just like he had told Sara, it showed his arrival at Lady Heather's. She was waiting for him at the door and held out her cheek for him to kiss. After that, they both disappeared within the house and went up to Heather's private rooms. Light was turned on and the camera moved up to the window.

There were two people wrapped in a tight embrace. They were kissing and the woman slowly began to undress the man.

Seconds later, the lights went out.

You didn't need to guess what was happening.

The screen went black.

The video had a time code and when it continued, 4 hours had passed.

The camera was again on the window. Grissom was there and not much later, Lady Heather stepped up to him. The couple kissed once more.

The next scene showed Grissom leaving the house.

Last time, Grissom had stopped the tape there, but this time he let it play. Maybe there was something that would help them find the one who had taped it.

**9**

Grissom stared at the dark screen and suddenly some words appeared.

'We have more. This time from within the house…'

"Dear god," Sara gasped, who had moved to the doorway without Grissom noticing it.

He turned and looked at her. With her tousled hair, she looked so young and innocent.

"Did you see everything?" he asked, his voice broken. "What are you going to do now?"

Sara felt like she had been hit by a truck. She hadn't had time to process everything and now he was asking her that.

"I don't know. Everything's so surreal. My whole picture of you…I don't know. And please don't look at me like that."

"I am so sorry."

"I know that, Griss. But…"

"Yeah, I know. I can understand that you don't want anything to do with me now."

Sara had to laugh. If only it were as simple as that.

"I think we should concentrate on this case. Everything else – I can't think about that now. Please."

Her plea went right to his heart.

What had he done? He only nodded silently. Every hour that she was with him was a good hour.

"They talked about a tape from inside? Where could that be? At your home?" Sara asked.

'Please let him say no,' she was thinking.

"Of course not. I have never met her outside her residence.

Sara's question was a valid one. If the tape had been made with in her house or even her room, then maybe he wasn't the only one. And if he was, why?

What did Heather know about it?

"I'm afraid, we have to – I have to – talk to Lady Heather. Maybe she knows something. I mean, it's her house."

Sara nodded, realizing the truth in his assessment. There were enough cases where women in this kind of business blackmailed their clients, mostly out of revenge or jealousy. The question was, was this the case here?

However they looked at it, there were more questions than answers.

Sara had never seen Grissom as a hero or saint. In her own fantasies she had seen him as active partner, not as inexperienced or shy man.

And the past had proven that he was not unattractive to the ladies.

She had seen more than one female witness or suspect had undressed him with their eyes.

Considering this, she could not understand why Grissom had gone to Lady Heather.

She had to admit that she don't know this side of him. Maybe one look at Lady Heather would change that.

"Call her, Grissom. We still have a few hours before shift starts and maybe talking to her will help."

She watched as he made the call.

"Heather has some time for me. I can come over right now."

"What are you talking about? We will go together. Grissom, you can't exclude me from this. Either we do everything together or…"

"Sara, you really don't want to come with me."

"Oh yes, I want to. Maybe I will be able to see more than you will. I'm less biased. I can ask different questions."

Although she saw that Grissom was not comfortable with this, she stood firm until he gave in.

"Alright, but remember that we're not going on official business."

TBC

Your input about the style and the translation is very welcome. So fell free to send a mail or a review.


	4. Chapter 4

Again a little bit LH in this chapter.

**10**

The ride to Lady Heather's house was silent. Sara was wondering what was going on in Grissom's head.

She could see the determination grow stronger.

He was berating himself for having given in to Sara. Usually he was not that insecure. No, he had to rely on his strong points.

Sara would not enter Heather's house.

He would not let her dictate everything.

When they arrived, he made no move to get out of the car.

Sara kept quiet for almost ten minutes until she could not hold it in anymore.

"Grissom, why won't we get out of the car?"

"I'll get out. You're gonna wait for me here," Grissom ordered in a firm voice.

He looked at Sara and the determination in his eyes surprised her.

On the one hand, she was glad that Grissom was not hesitant and about to hole himself up in a corner, but that also meant that her position was not that strong anymore.

Should she simply insist on it? Plead with him, trying to convince him? Or just wait and see what he decided?

"Why don't you want me to go with you?" she asked carefully.

"Please, Sara. That should be obvious. This is about my private life."

"And I have no place in it. I get it."

Sara sounded sad, and she was close to giving up.

"I don't understand you. If there's ever supposed to be an 'us' then you'll have to take me along. If you exclude me now, you exclude me from your life. You don't believe in a future for us."

"Sara, I don't want you with me because I want to believe in our future. If you talk to Heather…"

"Then I'll see another side of you," Sara completed his sentence.

"What are you scared of?"

"Damnit, Sara. Are you that naive?" Grissom couldn't hold it in any longer.

"There's a sex video of me. Do you know what that means?"

He turned to face Sara and shook her.

"How could you ever forgive me? When you look at me, what will you think?"

Sara was silent; there was nothing she could say.

His fear was justified. She couldn't promise him that everything stayed as it was.

"Could you still touch me? Kiss and love me?"

Grissom moved closer.

"Tell me that I'm wrong. If I kiss you now, will that be our last kiss?"

He kissed her without giving Sara a chance to object.

Hard and demanding. So full of passion that Sara almost forgot all of her arguments.

She opened her mouth slightly and moaned as Grissom took her up on her invitation.

His hands traveled along her body. If he gave into his desires and interpreted Sara's reaction correctly, he could have made love to her at that moment.

In his car.

In front of Heather's house.

When that thought registered, he pulled back carefully.

In front of Heather's house, dear god.

What was he doing?

"Sara, honey. We've to stop."

As if to comfort her, he placed small light butterfly kisses along her face.

"Okay?"

She just nodded. He was right, she knew that. Of course they had to stop. But the feelings that Grissom stirred in her, she couldn't put them into words. Much better than her fantasy.

She didn't move, neither pulling away from the other, until Grissom asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, but you couldn't kiss away my arguments."

This time she was right. He had to grant her access to every part of his being. They would only have a chance if she got to know the real him. If not, something would always stand between them.

"Alright, let's go," he finally gave in.

"But," he kissed her once more, "let me talk. Just observe everything closely. Alright?"

Sara smiled. "Alright."

**11**

On the way to the house, Grissom was tempted to take her hand. However, he knew that that was not the best way to show up at Heather's place.

He rang the bell and immediately, a young woman appeared who let them in without waiting for an explanation.

Sara looked around curiously. She had been involved in the previous cases, but she had never been there.

Grissom, on the other hand, knew his way around. He walked in front of her and in doing so, protected Sara from the eyes of the girls.

Finally, they stood in front of a door and he knocked.

Instead of the usual 'come in,' the door opened and Lady Heather was standing in front of them.

Sara tried to observe without being obvious.

She knew from the police report that Lady Heather was younger than her, but they seemed to be so different that she couldn't make a comparison. Sara felt very young and inexperienced. Heather was an exotic woman. Her hair style, the makeup – everything contributed to a mysterious aura.

Deliberately, she held out her cheek for Grissom to kiss, but he just ignored it.

"Dr. Grissom. Is this an official visit?"

He nodded silently.

"Heather, this is my colleague, Sara Sidle."

Heather looked at the tall slender woman next to Grissom with interest.

So this was the famous Sara Sidle. For a long time, Heather had been wondering what she looked like and now she finally got to meet her.

"Nice to meet you, Sara," she greeted the other woman friendly.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Hi, sorry for the delay. I hope you still read and enjoy this. Too much dialogues ? Please feel free to review or mail your opinion.

Thanks to Dany for the translation.

Xxx

**12**

The two women scrutinized each other silently.

After appraising the situation, Grissom finally cleared his throat.

"Lady Heather, we would like to ask some questions."

"Of course, I want to help. Why don't we take a seat?"

She motioned to a corner where a table was set – for three. She must have anticipated their visit.

Grissom nodded and led Sara over to it. They sat down and Lady Heather served them tea.

Again, it was Grissom who took the initiative and spoke.

"We hoped that you would be able to help us with a case we're working on - blackmail. There is a video that we received."

"And I am involved how?" Lady Heather asked curiously.

"The video shows your house and we have been informed that there are some takes from within," Sara cut in, looking at Grissom apologizing.

They were so distracted by keeping eye contact that they didn't notice Heather's surprised gaze.

"That's not possible. There are absolutely no cameras allowed in here."

"There have never been any attempts at blackmail?" Grissom asked.

Lady Heather only regarded him with skepticism.

"Gil, of course there were. But I have a very capable security team and everyone knows of my connections to the police."

Sara noticed the shift of the mood immediately. It was as if she wasn't there anymore. She felt like the fifth wheel and inconspicuous. That Heather was using Grissom's first name didn't make things better. Lady Heather spun a web of intimacy that she was jealous of and flashes of the video came back to her.

Grissom and the domina, together in bed, kissing, moaning with passion…

No, she couldn't think about that now. There were more important things that had to be dealt with.

Had she missed something?

"How does your security team work?" she asked to get this conversation back on track.

Finally, Heather looked back at her and took notice of her again.

"They try to clear things up before it's too late. And before you ask, of course I'm being threatened from time to time. I keep the worst letters and tapes. Do you want to take them with you?"

Sara nodded.

"That would be helpful. Thank you," Grissom rounded things up.

Lady Heather took that as her cue to fetch the tapes and letters.

She had barely left the room before Grissom leaned over to Sara and asked softly, "Are you okay? Can you handle it?" For once, there was true compassion in his voice.

Sara nodded again.

"It's a bit strange. Everything's…But I can handle it."

Seconds later, Lady Heather entered the room again, carrying a box which she handed over to Grissom.

"I don't know if it will help."

At that moment, Grissom's cell started ringing.

He excused himself and went over to the other side of the room.

Heather took the opportunity to talk to Sara.

"I've asked myself what kind of person you are."

"Why," Sara asked surprised. "You don't even know me."

"Are you really that naïve? I know exactly that it was you who is constantly on his mind. Ever since he entered this house, I knew that there was someone else. He never talked about it, but I knew."

Sara didn't say anything. She didn't want to stop Lady Heather. For years, she had been wondering what the other woman was like. And now she learned that same woman had been asking herself that as well.

"Somehow it was high time we met. I got the impression that Grissom was hiding you. What do you think?" Lady Heather continued with her speech.

Sara kept her expression schooled to neutral.

"Until now, I never worked on one of the cases that you were involved in, but that was nothing but coincidence."

"Coincidence? Do you really believe that?"

Sara shook her head. Of course she didn't believe in coincidences, especially not with the last case. It was not above him to exclude her from a case intentionally. After all, he had done so on the Lurie case.

While she had taken the time to ponder Heather's words, the other woman continued speaking.

"Something must have changed. He took you with him this time. Are you in a relationship?"

Sara blushed. Relationship? What exactly was a relationship with Grissom?

And why should she answer Lady Heather's question anyway?

"We work this case. We are here in a professional capacity."

"Sara, I may use your first name, right? Judging by the way Gil looks at you, there is more. But I know that you are just as private as Grissom. So let's drop this, shall we?"

**13**

The conversation was obviously over; especially since Grissom came back to stand next to them.

Catherine had told him that Ecklie didn't want to see him or Sara back at the lab again today. They were both maxed out on overtime and the lab couldn't afford to pay them the hours.

For once, Grissom didn't argue. That way, he and Sara would have more than enough time to sort through the contents of the box Heather had given them.

"Is there something else?" he asked when he noticed Heather's expression.

"No, nothing concrete, but I have received some strange calls lately. Not really threatening."

Grissom listened up. Everything out of the ordinary could be important.

"My team has tried to trace the calls."

"And?" Grissom was getting impatient.

"The caller was a woman. And she called from a women's correctional facility in California. I still have one of tapes somewhere."

She quickly found it and held it up triumphantly.

"Maybe the lab can get more from it than my team did."

Grissom took the tape from her.

"I'm sure. Thank you," he spoke and realized that the conversation was over.

"I hope you will keep me posted."

Both women glanced into the eyes of the other, and then Sara turned and walked out the door.

Grissom followed her without turning back.

Silently, they left the house and walked to the car. They loaded the box into the back and drove off.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Another short chapter. I'm not shure when we will update because we leaving for a short vacation. **

**14**

Grissom was lost in his thoughts, trying to analyze what had happened.

He was under the impression that everything went rather well - better than expected.

Surprisingly, Sara had remained professional.

Carefully, he looked to the side. She was just sitting there, not moving.

Only her hands seemed to shake lightly. However, that was to be expected if you considered what had just transpired.

He focused back on the street, when he remembered that he hadn't told her about Catherine's call.

"Sara, we don't need to go to work tonight. Catherine called and…Sara. Are you okay?"

Grissom began to worry. She didn't react at all and grew paler by the second.

"Honey, what's wrong? Talk to me?"

The only visible reaction was a shake of the head.

"You're scaring me. Say something."

A storm was raging within her. No, it was more than that. She couldn't describe it.

She tried to breathe normally, to stay calm.

You're in shock, she told herself, but somehow that didn't help either.

From one second to the next, everything became clear.

It was all her fault. She shouldn't have let him get close to her.

It all started with her suspension. Her first reaction to reject Grissom had been right.

In the meantime, Grissom had pulled into a parking lot. He hurried to get out and walked around to the passenger's side.

Sara was completely beside herself.

"Did you hear what she said? It's all my fault. If it hadn't been for me, no one could have blackmailed you."

Grissom didn't understand what Sara was talking about. He only wanted to calm her. Carefully, he put his arms around her and pulled her to him.

"Sara, shhh. Everything's okay. You did nothing wrong. Please, Honey. Calm down."

"No, please. Let me go. I don't deserve to be happy. My father was right. I'm not worth it."

She started to cry. Why couldn't she be happy?

Grissom didn't know what to do. How did her father fit in this?

After a while, Sara stopped crying. She pushed Grissom away.

"I'm alright now. You can get back in the car."

Grissom nodded. Of course she wasn't alright, but he didn't want to argue with her in public.

Carefully he closed the car door and drove on.

A couple of minutes later, he pulled into the driveway of his house and Sara got out without another word. Somehow he had expected an argument, but there was none and that was more than unusual.

Sara trailed after him, not caring about anything. As soon as he knew the truth, everything would be lost, she thought.

The door had barely closed behind her, when Grissom pulled her over to the couch.

"I didn't understand a word you said. Please, explain it to me."

Sara sighed. Of course he wanted an explanation.

"What's there to tell? You heard what Heather said."

Grissom remained silent.

"The caller. From prison. I'm sure that it's my mother. She – dear god – not only is she a murderer, no, now she's into blackmail as well."

Grissom felt like he had been hit. Sara's mother was supposed to be the blackmailer? Never would he have thought about that possibility. And why should she do something like that?

"Sara, you don't know that. It could be someone else. Please, let's just listen to the tape first."

She shook her head. No, she didn't want to hear what her mother had to say.

"I know it's her. She can't take it that I'm happy, that there is someone, that I love you."

Haltingly, she finished with her explanation. Without fear, she looked into Grissom's eyes. She had nothing more to lose, so she could tell him how she felt.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**15**

Sara walked towards Grissom. If nothing mattered anymore, then she could take another step.

"Grissom, why did you go to Lady Heather back then? You must have known that I would have been there for you. Wasn't I worth it?

Grissom froze. Obviously, Sara was in shock. The video, the blackmail, the visit at Heather's and now the suspicions against her mother – it was too much. And he couldn't even blame her.

"You know that you're worth it to me. That's why I didn't want to use you."

"Use me? I love you. You wouldn't have been using me. But maybe I don't mean much to you after all."

"Sara, you can't think straight right now. Please, lie down and rest."

"Will you sleep with me?" Sara asked instead.

"What?"

"You heard right. If you want me, really want me, this is your chance. Please, I need you. I can make you forget Lady Heather."

Sara moved closer to him, pushing up against him.

"Back in the car, you wanted me. We're alone now. Nobody could walk in on us."

"Sara, you don't know what you're talking about. I want to sleep with you, but not for the wrong reasons."

"The wrong reasons? There weren't any with Heather. That's interesting. Just admit that you don't want me anymore. Now, that you know about my mother."

Grissom had enough. She hadn't even heard what was on the tape.

"You mean so much to me. I would do everything for you. But, we haven't even listened to the tape, and…"

Sara barked out a laugh. "Exactly my point. If we had, you wouldn't want me anymore. Everything would be over."

Does she even know what she's talking about, Grissom wondered. It was how he had thought Sara would react when he received the video tape.

They were both held prisoner by their insecurities, their inability to open up. And when they finally managed to do just that, they didn't believe in each other.

It was a vicious circle. How chould they break it?

"Can't we discuss this rationally? If we have sex now, it would be wrong. Passion can overwhelm you, but we can't use that as excuse later on. We could do it, but then it would be because you want proof of my affection and because I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have."

During his explanation, Grissom had turned because he didn't want to be distracted. When he turned back, he was even more surprised by the view that lay before him.

Her face was tear-stricken. This strong woman was broken from fear, that she had lost everything.

Grissom walked over and took her in his arms. That's what he had wanted to do after her confession about her family and later on in the psych ward. He never had enough courage and it had never been clear to him that this gesture would have helped Sara a lot more than anything else.

Sara tried to push Grissom away. She didn't want his pity. She didn't want that he saw her like that. Broken. Insecure. She wanted to be strong for him.

But she just couldn't do it anymore. Everyone had left her and if the blackmail was over, Grissom would leave her too. She would be alone again.

Although Grissom noticed that Sara had seemingly calmed down, he knew that this wasn't a 'victory.'

However, he could use this situation to wrestle a compromise out of her.

"Honey, please. You're tired. Let's just go to bed and sleep. We can listen to the tape afterwards. We'll see what happens then."

Sara only nodded. She had no other choice.

Grissom was glad that she didn't resist him. He took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

Silently, they lay down and slept, closely entwined.

**16**

A couple of hours later, Sara's eyelids fluttered. It was in the middle of the night and she should have been at work. She wasn't tired anymore. Carefully, she stood up and went to the living room.

She saw the box with the threats on Grissom's desk.

After some rummaging, she found the tape and began to turn it around and around in her hands.

Should she wait for Grissom or listen to it alone?

She hadn't realized that in the mean time, Grissom had come to stand in the doorway.

"You didn't want to wait for me?" he asked tiredly.

She looked at him. Would he still be able to look at the blackmail as just another case? Would she be able to do that?

"Since we're both awake, we can listen to the tape, can't we?" she asked rhetorically.

Grissom nodded. He walked over to Sara and took the tape from her. "Are you ready?"

Without waiting for an answer, he put the tape in a player and started it.

At first, there was only the rustling of paper, but then a woman spoke.

"Lady Heather, you don't know me. But I have heard about you from the papers. You are a whore that earns her money with sex. I know your type. Here in prison you hear and see a lot. I know. Stick to your own kind. I warn you. I have connections to make your life, your clients and friends lives hell. Don't taint respectable and honest people."

It clicked and another call started. Grissom stopped the tape. He looked at Sara.

"Was that your mother? Do you recognize her voice?"

Sara nodded.

"Oh, Sara. I'm so sorry." Grissom moved his hands up and down her arms tenderly.

"It's okay. You don't have to pity me. Been there... She used to say, she and I, we are honest and respectable people. She never realized how broken we are. Until the day she killed my father. But I don't understand why she would blackmail you."

Grissom tried to take a mental step back and look at the whole issue like Sara did.

"You're right. Maybe these cases aren't related. When was the last time you've seen your mother? Maybe we should go and visit her in prison."

TBC

I hope you still enjoy the story. Thanks again, Dany.


	8. Chapter 8

**17**

Sara had a déjà vu.

Again, she was sitting on the couch and again, Grissom held her hand.

Only this time, they weren't at her apartment, but just like back then, she didn't want to talk.

She waited.

Grissom would have to start.

"I have to make a confession," he started when the silence became uncomfortable.

"Again?"

"Yes, again. And you won't like it much better. Back when you told me about your family, I visited your mother in prison."

"You did what?" Sara choked out.

"Let me explain. I asked myself why she was still in prison. She should have been released by now. The files said that she was violent and I wanted to know why. I talked to her. Don't worry, it wasn't about you. However, she did want to know how you were, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to give away something you didn't want her to know. Anyway, she was accused of killing a warden shortly after her transfer."

Sara fought for her next breath. Why hadn't she heard about that?

"The files were wrong, according to what your mother told me. The warden tried to rape her and she pushed him off. He hit his head on the sink and was dead on impact. Sadly, nobody believed her back then and she was sentenced to life. Sara, I offered to help her reopen the case, but she turned me down. She's scared that she wouldn't be able to cope outside."

Sara nodded. She could understand that. It had always been her fear that she had inherited this violent trait. If she was scared, how was her mother supposed to feel about that issue?

"I really don't think that she's involved in the black mail. Sure, she wants to protect you, from all men, but blackmail?"

"You're probably right. But going behind my back, how could you, Grissom?"

She knew he was a man of secrets, but she had never thought that that included her secrets.

It seemed that there was more and more that connected their lives.

Grissom was waiting. He didn't want to justify his actions. Sara's reaction seemed neutral enough. He had invaded her life without telling her.

They looked at each other.

His eyes asked for forgiveness and understanding.

Seconds passed.

Her eyes showed understanding and affection. They seemed to smile. He only knew one woman, whose eyes could smile – Sara.

He moved closer to her, bringing their thighs in contact. He turned and took her in his arms. "Thank you for everything."

She smiled again and he couldn't help but kiss her.

**18**

When everything had settled down again, Grissom approached the topic again, knowing they would have to, sooner or later. "The way I see it, we have two choices. We could take the car and drive to California…"

"Or," she looked at him questioningly.

"Well, kissing you would be more fun."

Sara laughed a full belly laugh.

"Me too, baby. But I think we have to make that visit. However, for the future, we should work on our timing."

"True," he grumbled.

She laughed once more.

"Let's get ready. We have to prepare some food before we leave."

This time, she kissed him softly and left for the bathroom to get ready.

Grissom started the coffee. Sara was right about their timing. He could only hope that this case would be over soon so they could turn to their personal problems.

**19**

Thirty minutes later, they were in their car, heading for California.

"Grissom, if she has nothing to do with it, we have to start over. We know nothing," Sara said, what they both had been thinking. There was no other hint they could look into.

"You're right, but I would rather start over again than knowing your mother is the one behind this. You've been through enough, Sara. Let's just take it one step at a time."

"Maybe not. Let's wait and see what she has to say.

xxxxx

They arrived at the prison five hours later. Grissom had called ahead to tell the officials they were coming. He wanted Laura Sidle to be ready when they arrived.

"Are you ready?" Grissom asked Sara.

She hadn't answered his question about the last time she had seen her mother and he didn't want to push her now.

Sara nodded. Of course, she wasn't ready and never would be.

"You're lying, but that's okay. I'm here. Just remember that. Maybe it will make it easier for you."

They looked at each other.

"Sara, I don't know if we can use the normal visiting area or if we have to do this conversation behind glass. Be prepared for everything, alright? Shall we?"

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Just a small part because of the trouble from ! Don't worry. Next time it will be more.

**20**

They passed through the halls of the prison silently. Grissom wanted nothing more than to hold Sara's hand again.

But of course, that wasn't possible.

Sara didn't know what to do, how to react.

She hadn't seen her mother in years. How could she explain it all?

Why should she be the one to justify her actions?

"Sara, stay calm."

Calm? That was easy for Grissom to say. Of course he was calm.

They reached the visitor's area and Grissom opened the door for her.

The officials had given them permission to talk to Laura Sidle alone. Grissom had the feeling that it would be better if he took the lead in this conversation, so Sara could get used to the whole situation.

"Hello, Mrs. Sidle. Do you remember me?"

"Of course, Mr. Grissom. Hi Sara, how are you?"

Sara looked at her mother. She looks like always, she thought. Of course twenty years had passed, but the memories seemed to be frozen in time.

"Hi mom, you look good."

"Oh Sara. It's nice of you to say that. But that's not why you're here. I've only got an hour, so tell me why you're here?

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey, another short chapter. No reason to worry about my motivation. I really will finish my story. Again – the german version has already more chapter. But we need time to translate this. I hope everybody can understand that. Thanks !**

**21**

"What did you do? We know about your calls. Why did you threaten Lady Heather?"

"Why?" Laura Sidle laughed.

"You deserve a better man. Not someone who has a 'relationship' with this woman. Not someone who sleeps with another woman when he could have you."

"Mother, what are you talking about? Grissom owes me nothing. We're not a couple."

"I know, Sara. But I don't want him close to you. Men like him…"

This time it was Grissom who interrupted Sara's mother. He could understand that she wanted to protect her daughter, but that didn't give her the right to do things like that. He had to protect Sara and himself.

"Mrs. Sidle, you should be careful about what you say. You don't know me, and you haven't been a part of your daughter's life in a long time. You don't know what you're doing."

"What am I doing? I just keep my eyes and ears open here in prison."

"You're just keeping your eyes and ears open? You're blackmailing Grissom."

Laura Sidle shook her head.

"What made you think that? I threatened that woman. I wanted to make sure he was leaving you alone."

"But I don't want to be left alone. What the hell is wrong with you? I love this man."

Sara saw that her mother didn't want to hear what she had to say. How could she get out of this? What had her mother already managed to destroy?

Grissom put his hand on top of Sara's. Gently, he stroked the back of her hand. Sara looked at him. Maybe everything would turn out for the better.

When her mother saw the gesture and the look that said everything, she got angry.

"You don't deserve her," she barked at Grissom.

"I know," Grissom admitted that she was right. "But Sara doesn't seem to think so. She's willing to give me a chance. We want to start over, together, when everything is over."

"Sara would never be that stupid. She knows what men are capable of. Sara, you know that you can't trust a man."

She looked at her daughter with confidence. That was what she had drummed into Sara as a child.

"Mother, I've grown up. You can't manipulate me anymore. Just tell us what you did. Right now."

"You can't intimidate me. I'm your mother."

"That's true," Sara threw back at her coldly.

"But not for the last few years. I owe you nothing. You can't expect me to protect you. One last time, what have you done?"

Sara paused.

"I told you the truth. Just a few calls, nothing more. But there is someone among these women who really hates your Dr. Grissom. She accuses you both of destroying her family."

"What's her name?" Grissom asked impatiently.

Laura Sidle shrugged her shoulders. Why should she help them?

"You love puzzles. I already told you more than enough, you will figure the rest out for yourself. Or did you separate so many mothers from their children?"

Sara sat up and took notice. That couldn't be true. What was she trying to proof with this statement?

"Her son tired to kill Sara," Grissom said. Slowly but surely, he was losing his patience with this woman. She had offered that woman Sara's life on a silver platter, leaving her free to destroy it if she wished. And of course, that woman hadn't been able to resist. Revenge is sweet, that's what they say. And this woman – of that he was sure – only lived for this revenge.

On the other hand, he was surprised that she was still alive.

He remembered the conversation with Sara vividly. They both had been convinced that mother and son wouldn't survive. Apparently, they had been wrong. It was revenge that kept the mother alive.

"You can't imagine what you've set in motion."

Grissom couldn't say more. He knew how dangerous that woman was. But how had she organized the surveillance? Hopefully, he could get to the bottom of this with Sara's help.

"Sara, let's go."

Sara got up without questioning him and followed Grissom.

She didn't even turn around when her mother called her.

"Please, Sara. You can't just go like that. Sara, Sara!"

She fought her impulse to turn around.

Only Grissom heard how what she murmured softly.

"Now, I'm alone."

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Better late than never :)**

**Dany, thanks for Beta and the translation. Dany is moving in the next weeks and I have my mother for a visit so we don't know when we can post more. Sorry !**

**Enjoy the story !**

**22**

Grissom froze.

"Sara, you've got me. You're not alone."

She nodded. Of course she wasn't alone, but she had just lost her mother. So in her eyes she didn't have a family anymore.

"Grissom, I'm an adult. I don't need a father and I don't need a mother."

Grissom nodded. He could understand that she didn't want to talk about it. That was a normal reaction to what had just happened.

"You're in shock, Sara," was his only response.

"Maybe, but that doesn't matter right now. We have to figure out who is behind the blackmail. Let's talk to the 'charitable' nurse."

Grissom could barely keep up with Sara.

"She's here in this prison. I hope that we can get to see her right away. We have to try. Maybe we'll get the identity of her contacts."

Minutes later, they were standing in front of the administration of the facility, asking for their suspect.

Luckily, there was no objection from that side. They were able to get a look at the files and talk to the wardens.

The files made it obvious that her mental state hadn't changed at all.

She was picking fights with everyone. Thinking that she hadn't done anything wrong and that she was above the other inmates, she hadn't made any friends among the 'normal' women.

That only left the company of the high security inmates. And it was those women who had helped her with the blackmail as well as the surveillance.

**23**

Grissom and Sara were seated in a secured room and waited for Joanne McKay, a former nurse who was currently in prison for murder, conspiracy and sexual abuse. She had been here for about a year and after going through her files, both CSIs had come to the conclusion that she hadn't made friends. She didn't belong to any gang, but the other inmates were scared of her and respected her.

The woman who entered the room in shackles barely resembled the one they had met at the mental institution. Her features had hardened, the hair was short and almost all gray.

Sara couldn't imagine her seducing her son like that. She almost felt sorry for her, but only almost.

"Dr. Grissom and CSI Sidle, what a surprise. What can I do for you?" she asked calmly.

"Why do you think there's something you can do for us?" Sara asked.

"Let's stop playing. We all know why you're here. So, what do you want?"

Grissom looked at Sara before asking, "Why did you have me observed?"

Joanne McKay barked out a laugh.

"Well, you see, there's so little entertainment around here. And that video with you and Lady Heather was really good entertainment. Nothing for minors, no, really hot. What do you think Sara? Did you see it?"

Against her will, Sara blushed. Worse, she felt vulnerable. Suddenly, Sara knew that this was what this was about. Not about Grissom's job, not about reputation, no. It was about playing them off against each other. To hurt them.

To destroy their relationship, of whatever nature it was.

Sara and Grissom had ruined her life, and that was what she was trying to do now. Ruin lives.

"No ? You missed something. He's really good, your Dr. Grissom."

Grissom didn't let it show that it was getting to him. He wouldn't be manipulated by this woman.

"I understand. You want revenge. Okay, you win. What now? Am I supposed to beg you for the rest of the tape?"

McKay shook her head.

"Begging, I don't know. You're visit is a nice start."

Sara looked at the woman. She wanted to toy with them.

"What do you want?"

Joanne McKay watched them. She wanted to ruin their lives. That meant their work relationship and the feelings between them. She couldn't imagine Sara Sidle, whose past she knew well, could forgive that man. Sara's mother had convinced her otherwise. She hated men and had influenced her daughter that way.

But seeing the couple like that, she wondered if Laura Sidle was right.

"What have you got to offer?" she asked to their big surprise.

"What? You're not in the position to make demands," Sara responded.

"No? I think I am. I have a sex video with an employee of the city. Even if you resign, word would get out. And what would your colleagues say? To be honest, I'm surprised that Ms Sidle is so understanding. No jealousy? You're self-control is amazing, or maybe there are no feelings for your colleague after all."

Sara looked at Joanne McKay. She wouldn't allow this woman to take control and hold that power over her. Never!

She would survive. She always did. But Grissom?

She looked at him. He didn't look like he would let this blackmail go on.

"Mrs. McKay, what does it tell you that we're here together? Sara knows about Lady Heather. I had sex with a dominatrix and I'm not proud of it. I wished that nobody knew, especially not Sara. Because only her opinion matters to me. But if you believe it or not, she has forgiven me. That's unbelievable and I still don't understand that. But it's a gift and proof of her trust. That's all I have to say to you. Either you give me the tape or you keep it. I don't care."

Sara had to fight the tears when Grissom's words registered. He was so sure.

She looked at him. Maybe that was the answer. Grissom and her.

"Grissom, are you sure?"

"Sara, I'm sure. Let's go."

He turned. "You know where to find me. Send me that tape or keep it."

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**24**

It was over. Grissom was sure that the nightmare of the last few days was in the past now. At least concerning the blackmail. He was lucky that the only aim had been emotional revenge. If he read the situation right, then she had tried to ruin him and destroy his relationship. Luckily, she hadn't succeeded.

Now, he was standing in front of the prison with Sara by his side and there was nothing that he wanted more than to draw her into his arms. And that was what he did. It wasn't a hug born out of passion but affection, love and trust.

It didn't bother them that they were out in the open where everyone could see them. If the last couple of days had proven something, it was that you couldn't hide.

Grissom stroked Sara's hair softly and whispered, "Let's go home."

He opened the car door for and waited until she was inside before he went to the driver's side and threw one last look at the prison. Only then, he did get into the car and drove away.

Tiredly, Sara smiled at him.

"Could we take another day off?"

Grissom nodded.

"Are you going to stay with me tonight?" he asked carefully. "I don't think that we should be alone after all of this."

"I think you're right, Grissom," Sara replied.

She, too, couldn't imagine being without him. The nightmares and fears of her childhood would come crashing down on her. No, she had to stop thinking about that.

**25**

I am strong. I want to be strong. I am strong.

Sara repeated that mantra again an again.

She wanted to be independent; she was independent.

She wanted to be loved. Was she loved?

What did Grissom expect from her?

"Don't think too hard, Sara," she heard him say.

She smiled.

"Usually, it's the other way around. Funny, isn't it?"

"I think that I'm just calmer than you are. In critical situations, you have to wait and see."

"Oh, Grissom. That would have been my line as well. I'm so tired. My thoughts are going round in circles. What are we supposed to do?"

Grissom realized that she wasn't talking about the case anymore.

"It's up to you, honey. It would be nice if you'd stay with me. Not only tonight. But if you're not sure and are afraid, I can wait."

Sara shook her head vehemently.

"Waiting, what for? No."

**26**

They lay together in bed. His bed.

Sara felt how much she needed him. His touch, his kisses drove her crazy.

She couldn't take it anymore. Still, something was wrong. She was still thinking too much. She was conscious of every single one of his touches.

Grissom noticed that Sara wasn't relaxed.

"Honey, let go."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. I'm here. I love you. Don't be scared."

"I love you too."

Sara's breath sped up.

"Grissom, please. I need you. But I don't know if…"

"Don't worry about me. Just think about yourself. Relax. I'll help you."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks for the translation, Dany ! And thanks to the reader. Sorry, but this chapter is still sad.

**27**

Grissom woke up, feeling strange. He was alone.

This was not how he had imagined it. It was more about Sara than him. But this was ok but he had the bad feeling that the next few hours wouldn't be very pleasant.

Slowly, he stood up and went to the kitchen. No Sara. There was only a short note:

"See you at work."

It was worse than he had thought. He tried to call her, but it was futile. Obviously, she didn't want to talk to him.

Grissom looked at the clock and saw that it was time to get ready. He had no other choice but to try and talk to Sara at work.

**28**

Sara was in the break room with the others, sitting at the table, when Grissom walked in with the new cases of the night.

He handed them out without many words until there was only one left for him and Sara.

Only when they were in the car, Grissom turned to her and asked, "Why did you just leave?"

Sara shrugged.

"I was uncomfortable."

"Sara, that's nonsense. The situation was unusual, but everything else… You were unbelievable. Sorry that I have to be so blunt, but I liked watching you."

Sara blushed.

"But I hope that the next time we both can…"

If that was an attempt to cheer Sara up, he succeeded. She bestowed him with an, in his eyes, beautiful smile.

"Good, that's that, and now there's a case waiting for us. Can we continue this later?"

Sara only nodded in response. That way, she would have a chance to think everything through.

Did she really want to take the risk and delve into a relationship with Grissom?

From her point of view, last night had been a disaster. She probably didn't deserve it to be happy with Grissom. But maybe it was normal to react that way. Especially after such a trauma. Everyone would have reacted that way.

**29**

Hours later, they were having breakfast, but both were very tired. They hadn't gone to his place. Neutral ground would make their conversation easier.

"You want to break it off?" Grissom asked after his first cup of coffee.

"I don't know. I'm so tired and burned out. I can't think straight anymore."

"I understand. What do you want to do?"

"Please, Grissom. I don't want to lose you. It's not your fault. Somehow, everything just adds up."

Sara took his hand.

"I love you very much, but I have to take a break. I hope you understand."

Grissom nodded.

"I want to take a vacation. Just to think about everything and make a decision."

"Sara, you have to do what's right for you. I just want you to be able to be happy again."

Sara stood up. "I'll try."

Grissom felt like he had been hit. "What? You want to go now? Please don't."

"Yes. Grissom, it's better that way. Don't make this harder than it is. I'll call."

She leaned down and kissed him slowly before she turned around and left.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Many thanks to Dany for the translation. Without her I could never post this story in english.

**30**

8 days, that's how long Sara was gone. With every passing day, Grissom lost a little bit of hope.

"Dr. Grissom."

The receptionist stood at his office door.

"This has just been dropped off for you."

She held out a small packet.

Suddenly intrigued, Grissom looked up. Maybe it was a note from Sara.

"Thanks."

Without any further look for the receptionist, Grissom turned and walked back to his desk.

One look at the sender and his hope sank.

It was a packet from the correctional facility.

He thought he knew what it contained and he wasn't wrong. It was the video tape and a letter from Laura Sidle.

_Dear Mr. Grissom,_

_we agreed to return the video tape. It was a nice change from our daily lives, if you get my drift. There's only one copy. It's yours._

_Say hi to Sara._

_Laura Sidle_

Grissom cursed the tape. It had brought him and Sara together, but had separated them again as well. Life was unfair.

What should he do with the tape now? He would never watch it again.

Suddenly, he made a decision.

He took a new envelope and wrote Sara's name on it. He didn't want to push her, but his future was in her hands. The video was hers. She would have to decide what would happen now.

**31**

Young Gil Grissom had always looked forward to this day. He was the center of attention, just because. Not because he had done something extraordinary.

Later, during college, birthdays were not that important anymore, and the older he got, the less weight they carried.

That day was only a sign that another year had passed. Another year where nothing eventful had happened.

Then, one day, this date suddenly became important again. He had met this interesting student. She was so much younger, and in her presence he realize how old he was and how the years had passed by.

Sara, the student, had begun to write him birthday cards. After he had managed to get her closer to him geographically, beautifully wrapped birthday presents began to show up on his desk or in his locker. Last year, she had given him a picture of San Francisco at night. There had been a small date printed neatly into the corner as a reminder of their last evening there.

Secretly, he had hoped that this birthday would be special. With a more personal present.

At the lab, the others asked for Sara constantly – when she would be back and where she was. As if he knew that. The three weeks she'd been gone seemed like years and not knowing where she was made it worse.

Grissom finally got up. There was no thinking about going to sleep today. He wandered into the living room and his eyes fell on the cake that his colleagues had given him at midnight. With it came a bouquet of flowers from Catherine, which he had taken home as well.

What now? He still had hours to kill before he had to work again. Maybe he should treat himself to a ride on the rollercoaster.

He hadn't been out at day in a long time. The heat of Las Vegas hit him and almost took his breath away. He was so dizzy, that he almost missed the envelope on his doormat. Curiously, he bent down and opened it.

_Dear Gil,_

_I wish you the best birthday of your life._

_To make this wish come true, I want to invite you to a little picnic. Please hurry, I'm waiting._

_Sara_

_PS: You're off tonight, so don't worry._

A smile lit up on his face. Sara was back. That alone was the best present. And she had planned something. Today was definitely the best day of the year.

Grissom went back into the house. He was dressed wrong for a casual picnic. Back in the bedroom, he opened his closet and picked out a dark red shirt and some light pants.

Somehow, he had the feeling that he should take something for Sara, but he didn't know what. Just as he was about to leave, his eyes fell on the picture of San Francisco again. Maybe taking his camera with him would not be such a bad idea. Now that he had everything, he realized that he didn't know where he was supposed to meet Sara.

**32**

Sara couldn't remember if she had ever been more nervous than now. Today, she would see Grissom again.

The last few weeks hadn't been easy. She had rented a small bungalow at the beach and had tried to find herself.

Going on long walks, swimming in the sea or just being lazy in the sun - that was all she had done. And she had thought about how her future was supposed to look like. Would Grissom be a part of it and if so, how would they be able to deal with the past? Many of her questions remained unanswered, but one thing became clear to her: she didn't want to be without Grissom.

With that decision made, she returned to Las Vegas and found the video in her mail. It was his way of showing her that he trusted her and left the decision up to her. For two days, the video had been sitting on her coffee table. She knew she would never be able to watch it.

Jealousy, a feeling that she didn't like, ate away on her. It appeared that, to a degree, it was part of every relationship. It grew inside of her when she thought about the tape and that it showed Grissom with another woman. For a lot of people, it would have been just sex, but not for Sara. Sex was the most intimate moment between two people, the moment where…

No, she didn't want to think about that.

The crucial thing in their relationship was that she could forgive Grissom. And the more she thought about it, the more obvious it became that there was nothing to forgive to begin with.

His involvement with Lady Heather was hurting her but he was a free man this time. And it wasn't his fault that someone made that videotape.

She just had to show Grissom that she was there for him and that she loved him. She would never abuse the power he had given her with the video, not verbally and not emotionally.

Slowly, she came up with a plan how she could perfect her reunion with Grissom. His birthday was the right event.

Grissom looked around. There had to be a clue to tell him where the picnic was about to take place.

A sound ripped him out of his thoughts. It seemed to originate from his little garden, whose existence he sometimes forgot.

Slowly, he opened the sliding door and stepped outside.

What he saw there took his breath away. It was every child's dream of a birthday party.

There were a couple of colorful sunshades with two tables beneath them. One was filled with flowers and presents, while the other one was set festively for two.

Grissom couldn't explain when and how Sara had done all of this. When he saw her, it didn't seem important anymore.

She was dressed in a bright summer dress, not something she usually wore, and looked like the best present ever.

He hurried over to her and pulled her into an embrace. "You're here."

"Happy Birthday, Griss!"

She seemed to have done everything right because Grissom couldn't let go of her, even lifting her off the ground a bit.

"You are the best present. Thank you!"

"Really? I didn't think that you would be that happy."

"Very."

Slowly, he set her down again.

"Are you sure?" he asked after endless seconds of waiting.

Sara nodded. "I am sure."

**33**

Every day seemed to be the same to the inmates of the female correctional facility. There were no distractions; the monotony only broken by fights, but they were hardly fun.

The last few months had been somewhat more interesting for the two women who sat in a corner of the prison yard.

Together, but with different motives, they had started project 'Gil Grissom.'

Sadly, it hadn't worked out as they had hoped and thus the mother of a CSI and a former nurse were arguing.

Both were disappointed and blamed the other.

"You told me that she would hate this guy," Joanne ground out.

Laura Sidle looked up. She couldn't have known that her daughter was able to develop such faith in a man.

"Ok, ok. It's my fault," she returned sarcastically. "My daughter turned out different than I thought. What do we do now?"

Her partner just shook her head.

"I have no idea. It was hard enough to arrange the set up for the tape. Along with the letter, it was very expensive. I'm broke. What about you?"

"I never had money."

They looked at each other silently. Both realized that the plan had failed and that they had to bury all of their plans for revenge.

At least for now.

"I am sure."

The sentence hung in the air like a promise.

Sara and Grissom knew that they belonged together. One question remained, though. What did their future as a couple look like?

"Do you want to unwrap your presents, Griss?" Sara asked.

Grissom nodded.

He had never gotten that many presents in the last couple of years. Still, the fact that she was here was his best present and nothing else was that important. The expectation in Sara's eyes silenced him. She had put so much effort into this surprise.

Slowly, he walked over to the table and took a closer look.

He lifted one present after the other, shaking them carefully and looked questioningly at Sara.

"Hey, they don't bite. You can open them," she encouraged Grissom. She couldn't wait to see his reaction. Some of the presents were more of a symbolic character, other she had found on her vacation by chance.

Grissom opened the biggest present first. It was a clear paperweight with shells inside.

More presents followed and judging by Grissom's reaction, he was pleasantly surprised.

He continued until only two presents were left.

Sara looked at him nervously. He had managed to open all but the most important ones.

She cleared her throat. "These two…well, they are special."

Grissom nodded. Every present from Sara was special, but he understood what she was trying to tell him.

He opened the first one and saw a clear box with black and silver shreds. For a moment he stopped breathing. The tape. Sara had destroyed it.

"You don't have to keep it. Just throw it away. I just wanted to tell you that it doesn't exist for me anymore."

"Thank you."

Grissom knew what she was trying to tell him. The tape was past. Nothing associated with it should have a place in the future.

Now, there was only one left. Carefully, Grissom took it and started to tear away the colorful paper. Inside, there was a photo album.

Sara moved closer to Grissom.

"Every day of my vacation, I thought of you and whenever I wanted to show or tell you something, I made a photo and wrote my thoughts down. That's better than a postcard, right?" she asked shyly.

Grissom leaved through the book. He didn't know what to say.

"Sara, this is beautiful."

He moved even closer and took her into his arms.

"Thank you for your love and you trust. Sara, do I get one more wish?" he finally asked.

"Another one? I thought you didn't want presents." Her surprise was audible in her words.

"I just wanted you," he replied, smiling at her.

"So?" Sara asked. "You have me."

"Good to know. May I kiss you then? That is something I've wanted to do for weeks."

Sara took his hand.

"Me too. And if two people wish for the same thing, it'll come true.

She barely got the end of the sentence out before Grissom pulled her closer. He kissed her with love and passion, showing what they were both feeling. This was a short glimpse into their future.

Sara could have stayed this way forever. Grissom's arms felt heavenly around her.

TBC

I hope I still have reader. I promise the next part will follow very soon. Thanks Dany for the hard work !


	15. Chapter 15

_**34**_

Both could have stayed this way forever.

For Sara, it was as if all dreams had come true.

Grissom knew and understood her better than everyone else and still loved her.

But he also was the only one who had power over her emotions and who could influence her behavior. And he could hurt her like no one else. Maybe even break her.

Despite of the blinding effect of love, she knew that.

The past had shown that Grissom's actions often lead to problems.

Lady Heather was only one example. Another one was his behavior towards Sofia.

Sure, sometimes Grissom was somewhat naïve, but Sara didn't want to believe that that was the reason. When dealing with Sofia in public, he was charming and flirty. No one could miss that and Sofia certainly saw something in it because otherwise she wouldn't have called him her friend later on.

Sara remembered one scene in particular. She was in her office. Through the glass walls, she could see the boys joking around on one side, and on the other side she could see Grissom and Sofia laugh.

She was sitting alone between people who should have been her friends. Lonely and alone.

But those feelings weren't all. There was also the hopelessness that had risen up in her because she thought that her life would most likely never change.

And now, everything was different. Just like that.

Sara was afraid that this dream would not end well. She had to talk to Grissom about her fears. It was important that these things would not come between them.

In between kisses, Grissom wondered if he was doing something wrong because Sara suddenly seemed stiff in his arms. And what a noise was that? I took a while until he realized that it was Sara's stomach which seemed to be protesting loudly.

Feeling guilty, he asked between kisses, "Are you hungry?"

"Mmmm."

"Sara, do you want to eat?"

"Yes, sorry. But I was so nervous, I couldn't eat."

"Then let's see what you have in store for us. It shouldn't be out in this heat for too long anyway."

Grissom helped her to her chair and she sat down. Silently, they began to try out the food that Sara had brought.

It was obvious that they had to talk about a lot of things, but no one seemed to want to break this magical moment. They just sat in the garden, eating and smiling at each other.

Finally, Grissom noticed the bottle of champagne and opened it. Seconds later the drink prickled in their glasses.

"To our future," Grissom toasted.

"To us," Sara replied.

"What do you imagine our future looks like?" Sara asked after a while. "Although we've known each other for a while, it was only this extreme situation that has brought us together."

Grissom nodded. He understood what Sara was trying to say.

Would the stress of every day life be too much for them? What would happen if Ecklie got word of them? What if there were problems at work? Would Sara expect him to be focused on her only?

The answer to her question was simple - he didn't know.

"I could answer with a quote. But I really think that we have to find our own way. We can decide for ourselves what will happen. But I have to warn you, it won't be easy because I'm not easy."

Carefully, he looked over at Sara.

"Oh, Grissom. You think I'm easy. For over twenty years, I only had myself to rely on. I live alone. Do what seems right to me. I never had to think about someone else. If I was in a foul mood, it didn't matter. I'm very independent. And I think that that's true for you as well. We don't have to do everything together and stick to each other like glue. But I have to be sure that we belong together. You know what I'm trying to say?"

To show her that he did, he held out his and she took it, smiling at him. They seemed to have the same fears and worries.

"Grissom, you are everything that I wished for and what I want. Only you. What do you want?"

Grissom looked at her.

Although everything seemed overly romantic, this day would be a turning point. The loving look in Grissom's eyes disappeared, in its place now deep sadness.

"Oh god, Grissom. I ruined your birthday. I'm so sorry."

Why did she bring this up now?

"Please, Sara. That's not true. You gave me the best birthday ever. Come closer, I want to feel you."

Sara couldn't resist him. He was so sweet when he was asking so nicely.

Somehow, she still couldn't believe that he really wanted her, that he loved her.

Nobody had ever really loved her, and everyone she had loved, had left her sooner or later.

It scared Sara how much she depended on Grissom's feelings. "Oh, Grissom. What am I supposed to do with you?"

Grissom smiled at her.

"I'm thinking that this is a rhetorical question because I could name a thousand things that you could do with me."

"Grissom," Sara slapped his arm playfully.

"Sara, I mean it. If you want, I will belong to you forever. It sounds so pathetic, but that's how I feel. I think that after all we've been through, and you in particular, have the right to be skeptical. But I want to prove that I can change, that I have changed. You can ask me anything you want."

Sara looked at Grissom. He was serious about this.

"To be honest, I have many questions. One of them is about Lady Heather. I'm scared that she'll always be there and will come back to haunt us. I don't think that she's as considerate as we want her to be."

Grissom had to admit that she was right.

"What do you have in mind? Just go and visit her and ask her to please leave us alone? The way I know her, she will agree. Until the next occasion arises. And I'm afraid that she will use the information she has to her advantage."

Sara nodded. That was what she had thought as well. Why should a woman like Lady Heather let a man like Grissom go?

"May I ask you something? I don't want details, but what was the nature of your relationship?"

Grissom could see that it hadn't been easy for Sara to ask. He was surprised that she had waited so long to do so. If it had been him…

"I wouldn't even call it a relationship," he began to explain, but he had a hard time finding the right words.

"We saw each other because of the cases and it just evolved from there. I'm really not proud of that, Sara."

"I don't judge you, Grissom. But did she call you as well or was it just you? Do we have to be prepared that she'll call?"

She could still use the word 'we.' If that couldn't give him hope then he didn't know what could.

"No, she never came to me."

That was certainly interesting information for Sara. Good for the case, but what about her personally?

"So, what's the plan? Should we go and visit Lady Heather," she asked coldly.

_**Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**_

"Are you coming back to me?" Heather asked.

Gil Grissom had been standing in front of her for a couple of minutes, not saying anything. She had seen the car arrive and noticed that only one person got out.

The question surprised Grissom. "Coming back? What are you talking about?"

"Gil, don't act so surprised. Your Miss Sidle will never be able to keep up with you and your needs. Do you really think she'll be able to forgive you?"

"You don't know Sara. She's not a naïve little girl. She's a strong woman."

Heather started to laugh. "And it's only now that you see that? Gil, you're lying to yourself."

Grissom turned and looked out the window. Sara was in the car, waiting for him.

Grissom had to admit that there was a chance that Heather was right. But life was full of risk and he had to take that chance.

Didn't he?

"Maybe. Maybe not. But look at us. We had our time and it's over."

Heather swallowed hard. He was right and she knew it. But she loved him in her own way. He had always treated her well, had understood her and respected her. He was her hope that she could live a different life. And now he had given that hope to Sara.

"The tape. Did you watch it?" she asked, her voice low.

"Yes."

"What about Sara?"

"I don't know. We didn't talk about it. I hope she hasn't seen it."

Heather nodded.

"I understand. Where's the tape?"

"I really hope that there's only one tape. And that copy doesn't exist anymore. Sara destroyed it. We talked to the people behind the blackmail, and we hope that it's over now."

"Over? You're not talking about the blackmail alone. You're also talking about us, aren't you? That's why you're here alone. We will never meet again, right? Answer me."

Heather's voice grew louder. Suddenly, everything seemed so real and there was no point in denying it anymore.

"Say it. Tell me that you're breaking it off."

"Please, Heather. I tried to explain it to you five minutes ago."

She shook her head.

"No, five minutes ago, you took my hope for a relationship. Now you're telling me that you will never come here again. Never."

"I won't visit you again. I won't see you personally. And I want you to respect that. Please, Heather."

He really had guts to come here and ask her to do that.

She started to cry. She, Lady Heather, was crying for a man.

Grissom didn't know what he should say or do. He'd always had a special relationship with her and he would never forget her. But this stage in his life was over. Even without Sara, it would have had to end. Lady Heather was in the past now, while Sara, hopefully, was the future.

"I'm sorry, Heather."

Quietly, he left the room, the house until he was standing in front of the car.

TBC


End file.
